What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and...

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

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Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

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Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Is it necessary for people to wear towels while showering at gyms? If so, what are some ways to prevent the towel from slipping off and exposing oneself?

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Has Anybody been gang banged? If yes, how many guys? Was it as much fun as looks on porn? Were you double penetrated? Answer all three questions - Elaborate.

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

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Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

How does growing up in chaos affect a child as they become an adult?

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

What are some of your favorite hip hop lyrics?

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Make Nazis afraid again!

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Do Indian guys like African girls?

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Why do many Hong Kong Chinese look different from the Han Chinese in mainland China?

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

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Shameless vixen! Trollop!